- Jacksonville Christian Youth & Singles "On Point"
- Published Date
- Jose Bosque
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Recently I was asked by a young Twitter friend to develop a Dating Blog. Obviously, he must have like our JC On Point Youth and Singles magazine inside of www.JaxChristian.com and wanted more.
My first reaction was when will I find the time? With 4 websites, 5 blogs and 35 Social Media networks plus all the other work I do for others, my greatest need is time. I also thought to myself, what do I have to say to this generation concerning dating? Things have changed so much and it has been years since I lived in that world. Well, like a true romantic and with my love for young people it wasn’t long before the Holy Spirit gave me this word.
First, I would like to say that there is a vast difference between Love and Lust. If you hang with me I want to take a few minutes to describe some of the differences.
What is the basis behind this article?
- I believe in real love. *-I believe it is much greater than a 21 gun salutes, seeing stars, hearing bells and having a squadron of jets flying overhead as Hollywood portrays it in movies. Real love is all of that and much more. Real love is MAGNETIC!
- I believe this generation has settled for less. It’s all about me, my needs and my comfort. Driven by selfish desires people are shacking up for convenience but there is no spark between them. (For you newbies “shacking up” is the 20th century term for living together without marriage or your “try before you buy” philosophy.)
How do you know when you are driven by Lust?
- Lust is comfortable, it’s calculated and convenient. It gratifies our flesh and lust is not complicated. Relationships on this level are somewhat easier to jump in and out of and except for the usual division of personal effects it (feels) relatively harmless. While at first there might be some amount of regret the more you do it the harder your heart gets and the easier it is to do.
- Let me describe the calculated side of lust. You never give more than you get. Extra giving is only the result of extra getting. Both sides keep the ruler out and no one is willing to invest an ounce of extra effort in the relationship. Yes, they are in a relationship but it’s measured and unless you are drunk or high it’s really boring (and they are really boring together.)
- Lust is driven by the flesh and the flesh is all about externals so when body parts head south because of age so does desire to stay together. (Lust cannot weather sickness, loss of a job, distance or anything which demands a withdrawal since lust makes no deposits.)
- Lust is a decision of the mind and sex is its finish line. (self-gratification) Next time you "make love" time how long the "afterglow" lasts. It speaks volumes!
- In a Lust relationship the two never become one. They may learn to co-exist for appearances sake, for the childrens sake,or even for their respect for the institution of marriage but they will never be one.
How do you know it’s Real Love.
- Real love is based in the heart. The Bible says the eyes are the window to your soul or heart. That is why when people are in love you can see it in their eyes.
- Real love is not rational or logical. Real love is chemistry. It is unexplainable it just is! It’s exciting to the heart and its overwhelming to the mind.
- Real love has no expectations because it too busy giving. It would rather give than receive. It doesn’t have time to measure because it cherishes the relationship.
- Real love costs because it requires deposits and withdrawals. That is why Real love needs so much communication because it cares so much.
- Separation, time and distance cannot quench real love because it doesn’t live just in the present but lives in the heart internally and eternally.
- Age cannot affect real love. In fact the longer the give and take the stronger the bonds of love become.
- Real love is spontaneous it doesn’t matter where we are going as long as we are going together. It doesn’t need Las Vegas because there is already enough music and bright lights in the hearts of those who are truly in love.
- Sex in real love is the culmination but never the destination. Real love doesn’t need sex. It gives because it loves not because it should, it owes or it’s expected of me.
- Real Love begins with a 0% expectancy rate- Real love is not thinking about ROI (Return on Investment)
- Real Love is a dying process-(there is an old cuban proverb that says"To Him that loves what he is doing even though it kill him, His death will taste like Glory!"
I pray that you will wait for love. It would be sad to find yourself getting old after hundreds of mates or getting to a place where you are having to be told you need to sit together because you are married.
1 Cor 13:4-8
4 Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, 5 Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first, "Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, 6 Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, 7 Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end. 8 Love never dies. (from THE MESSAGE Bible)
For the record, only Christ can heal the wounds and scars (they are there whether you see them or not) that this generation is inflicting on each other.
I know there so much more to say but maybe some of you reading this can take a few minutes and share your comments below so that this generation can get some help. God knows they need it!
For Love’s sake,
Jose L. Bosque